Why transage is scary for children

Sometimes I see see something on Facebook that just makes my scratch my head and wonder where the world is heading. Well, this viral video was definitely one of them. The video shows an older gentleman who left his life and his family to become a six-year-old girl. Yes. you heard that right. You no longer have to be the age you are. Because it seems there is now a thing called transage and let me tell you that is scary.

I have a number of issues with transage. Would preschools and play groups be required to admit adults who believe they are children? Would transage be required to have supervision like other children or would they be allowed to roam free? Or what happens if they commits a crime. Are they processed at their real age or the age they believe to be? And the message that it’s send to our children that it’s ok to pull out when things get tough.

But, my main concern with this article was the fact he had been adopted by a new family with children makes my blood boil. Let me tell you why.

Because it exhibits classic sexual predator behavior. Just for a second think why would a grown man want to become a little girl?

Most sexual abuse (over 90% according the national sexual registry) occurs by people who were known to the victim? It’s true. Sexual predators are very good at choosing—and then grooming—their victims and use all sorts of tactics to gain trust and control.

Grooming is process in which the predator gains the trust of the child, and often their family, to gain alone time with their future victim. What better way to gain trust with a family than to become an innocent six year old girl? Plus, what happens if abuse does happen, can he claim that he’s a minor?

For most sexual predators there is a pattern to their behavior.

First they target their victim

They look for vulnerabilities that they can exploit. These vulnerabilities include mental and physical disabilities, single parent families, low self-esteem, or those with emotional neediness. They will look for their victims at schools, parks, playgrounds, churches, and stores.

Second, they gain the trust of their victim and their victim’s family

This is done by gathering information about their victim and placing themselves in situations where they can gain their trust. They may show interest in common interests or gives the victim gifts or special privileges.

Third, they become invaluable by filling a need

They look for areas to exploit in supervision and be there when family members can’t. They become helpful in picking up kids when parents can’t or offering to babysit.

Fourth, they spend alone time with the victim

Now that they have the trust of the victim and their family, they will cultivate alone time with their chose victim. Sexual predators are more interested in building a relationship with a child than with adults.

Fifth, they will make the relationship sexual

This is important. Most predators only make their move only after they’ve gained the trust of the child. They prey on a child’s natural curiosity and normally slowly build their sexual abuse to make sure the child isn’t going to say anything. They may start with touching and caressing before moving to more extreme abuse.

Activities that a sexual predator may use to groom a child include:

  • Bathing a child
  • Walking in on a child changing
  • Deliberating walking in a child using the bathroom
  • Asking the child to watch them using the bathroom
  • Tickling and accidentally touching genitalia
  • Suggesting activities that require clothing to be removed (swimming, massage, wrestling)
  • Wrestling in underwear
  • Playing games that include touching genitalia (playing doctor)
  • Telling a child sexually explicit jokes
  • Teasing a child about sexual and genitalia development
  • Discussing sexually explicit information under the guise of information
  • Showing sexually explicit information
  • Taking pictures in child in underwear, bathing suits, dancewear, etc.

Lastly, once the abuse has happened, they will do everything to keep their victim silent

They do this by offering verbal or physical threats that convince the child that no one will believe them or that they predator will harm their family.

Warning signs of abuse according to the National Sex Offender Public Website:

  • Has nightmare or trouble sleeping without explanation
  • Seems distracted or distant at odd times
  • Sudden change in eating habits
  • Refuses to eat
  • Loses or drastically increases appetite
  • Has trouble swallowing
  • Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, insecurity, or withdrawal
  • Leaves “clues” to seem likely to provoke a discussion about sexual issues
  • Developes a new fear or people or places
  • Refuses to talk about a secret shared with an adult or older child
  • Writes, draws, plays, talks, or dreams of sexual or frightening images
  • Talks about an older new friend
  • Suddenly has money or gifts without reason
  • Thinks of self or body as dirty or repulsive
  • Exhibits adult-like sexual behaviors, language, and knowledge

Teens may also show these symptoms

  • Self-injury such as cutting or burning
  • Inadequate personal hygiene
  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Sexual promiscuity
  • Running away from home
  • Depression, anxiety
  • Suicide attempts
  • Fear of intimacy and closeness
  • Compulsive eating or dieting

The best thing you can do to prevent your child from sexual abuse, it making sure they’re not put in situations where the abuse can happen.

Trust your instincts if you believe there are red flag or abuse has happened.

If you believe your child has been a victim of sexual abuse, contact the proper authorities right away. Especially do not allow them to have contact with the person you believe is the perpetrator.

If you want to learn more about what you can do to prevent or report sexual abuse, visit the National Sex Offender Public Website

Amy

Amy loves all things England, ice cream and lemons. She's a foster mom to three wonderful kids. In her spare time she enjoys spending time with her family and friends, traveling the world, seeing plays, cooking, and soaking up sunshine.

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