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The Teaching-Family Model incorporates quality components into each behavior skills to bring about change in your child while strengthening relationships. Quality components are the ability to recognize the quality of what we’re doing when it comes to the interactions with our child to get the outcome we want.

Not all the interactions we have with our children are quality. Sometimes our voice tone isn’t appropriate. Sometimes our body language may be threatening. Sometimes we assume our children hear us or understand what we mean. 

The Teaching-Family has built-in checking to make sure we’re using quality components. Along the way, it requires us to evaluate how we are doing? Are we using an appropriate voice tone? Are we teaching each of the steps? Is our child internalizing the steps of the skills?

It’s these built-in quality components where the real power of the Teaching-Family Model lies. Quality components are there to strengthen and build relationships and to give parents the parental guidance they need. 

While using quality components may sound overwhelming, it’s not. Quality components become second nature as you use the behavior skills found on Smarter Parenting. Any parent willing to spend the time to learn the behavior skills will see change. Behavior skills work! Using behavior skills will make your life easier as they will give you the tools you need to raise successful children. 

Using the five elements of the Teaching-Family Model truly is the roadmap your family needs to begin seeing change today!

Episode Transcript

This is episode 45. Let’s get started.

Smarter Parenting welcomes you to our podcast series, The Parenting Coach for ADHD. Here to heal and elevate lives is your parenting coach, Siope Kinikini.

Hello, my friends. How is everyone? I hope everybody’s doing fantastic. I’m actually doing really great today. And this is a continuing series that we’re talking about in the Teaching-Family Model, and the five pillars of the Teaching-Family Model. The elements (Why, What, Where, When, How)  of the Teaching-Family Model that makes it so effective in bringing about change for your children.

So today, what we are going to be talking about is the how. And another word for this is called quality components. Don’t be scared by the words, I know quality components sounds like something you would hear at a factory. And we’re not actually pumping out product like a factory. We’re actually talking about children. But quality components is the ability to recognize the quality in what we’re doing in order to get the best product that we need or to get the outcome that we want.

So, I mean, think of it this way. When there were assembly lines that were creating cars early on in the century, when cars were first made, there was an assembly line. Henry Ford created these assembly lines and that was ordered to maximize production. In the assembly lines, they always had somebody who was the quality checker. Somebody to go through and check and be sure that in each stage or each phase, whatever was being produced was quality. Quality enough that it could be added onto something else and then added onto something else to produce a car.

Now, I don’t know how old you are, but there used to actually be this old commercial, Fruit of the Loom underwear. It was on TV. Fruit of the Loom had these mascots. They were fruit, like an apple. There was an orange, grapes. And they were people dressed up in these costumes. In one of the commercials, the apple was a quality checker. So they would go through and they would stretch the underwear to be sure it was stretchable and durable and that was made out of nice material. And I always thought that commercial was hilarious because it was just kind of weird to look at fruit touching underwear. The idea behind that is that somebody was there along the way to be sure that there was, in each phase of what was happening, somebody was checking the quality to be sure that it was good.

Well, the Teaching-Family Model has that. It’s built into the system itself where there’s a lot of checking. You need to be checking. Now when you’re implementing the skills, and we covered that in, what you should be teaching. The quality components goes back and evaluates, “Okay, what are the quality components necessary to teach this effectively to my child? What should I be doing? How should I be approaching this in order to effectively get the outcome that we need, or that we want?” Those things are things that you have to think. So, throwing the skills at a child, because I had mentioned earlier, memorizing them and you know exactly what to teach because it’s almost scripted for you. It’s super easy.

Now you have to step back and say, “Okay, in my teaching of this item to my child, am I being sure that what I’m teaching, each step of the way is good and it’s building on another principle that will help my child adopt these new behaviors?” There is a skill on the Smarter Parenting website called Effective Praise. And that is a wonderful skill to praise your child for the positive things that they’re doing in order to help improve their behavior overall and increase the chances of them repeating that positive behavior.

Super, super, super great skill. What we find in the praise is that praise and getting feedback or criticism is a necessary. You you need to marry the two. That’s a quality component is that you provide praise three or four times, a praise statement before you offer a correction. And we offer those ratios to help build the relationship, which is the why pillar of the Teaching-Family Model, right? That is a quality component. For example, that is something that you’d have to go back and say, “Okay, am I following this? Am I doing this? Am I able to do this in order to move me on to the next step?” And that helps them build a relationship with my child but also helps us communicate more openly about what’s happening.

Now, in each of the steps of the skills that are involved in the Teaching-Family Model, there are things like Observe and Describe. And there are things like Effective Praise that are included in these skills, and they’re put in there as quality components. I mean, it’s a way to test and navigate whether or not the communication is still open enough that you can provide the feedback. And that you can provide the feedback, how difficult it may be, and the child will still be open to it. Open to the changes that are necessary for things to happen. So, those are things that are super important. Quality components is that other element, okay? So it’s more than just teaching and what to teach, it is how am I teaching this and how am I being sure that in each of the steps of what I’m teaching. I’m maximizing my ability to effectuate change with this child. It’s kind of a balancing act.

It’s really interesting to watch people use the Teaching-Family Model, first, because they find that the steps themselves are very helpful, but then they have to keep track to be sure that they’re following through with the quality components. After a while and after a practice, it actually becomes very second nature and a lot of people are able to do it without difficulty at all. In fact, they can just ramble it off and take care of it and everything is done. So, super, super powerful aspect of being able to do it.

What did we cover today? We’re talking about the how. We’ve already talked about what you’re going to teach, which are the skills. And then the how is how are you going to present it? Are you going to get eye level with the person that you’re communicating with? Are you going to speak in soft tones? Are you going to speak at a slower rate of speech? I mean, those are all little components in the delivery of what you’re doing, that will help increase your effectiveness as a parent. Keep that in mind, quality components. There’ll be more information on this, on the Smarter Parenting website, about quality components, in fact, on all of these sections of the Teaching-Family Model. So you’ll be able to find that.

But feel free to leave a rating, five-star rating and please send us any questions that you may have on these. We definitely want to be answering questions that affect you. I am so excited actually, to start bringing this to the larger masses by providing coaching for these people that may be interested. If they have a child with a very specific issue, I am more than happy to jump in and let’s talk, let’s work through things. Let’s get things taken care of. And we can walk through these things together, so we can find the best way to help you and your child become successful. All right. That’s it for me right now, and I look forward to talking to you again soon. I’ll see you later. All right, bye.

Episode 26: Relationships–the Why of the Teaching-Family Model

Episode 41: When do I need ADHD Parenting Coaching?

Episode 42: What parents need to teach–behavior skills

Episode 43: When–teaching to negative behaviors

Episode 44: Where am I emotionally?

The Teaching-Family Model

Our Teaching-Family Model Family

The Teaching-Family Association

Behavior skills of the Teaching-Family Model

Behavior skill: Effective Praise

Behavior skill: Observe and Describe

Free 15-minute ADHD coaching mini-session

Siope Kinikini

ADHD parenting coach Siope Lee Kinikini, LCMHC, is a mental health professional who has worked with hundreds of ADHD families. As someone with ADHD, he knows what your child is going through and is able to help you understand what they need. He is married and has a wonderful teenage daughter.

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