I love you are three very powerful words. Think of the first time someone outside of your family said them and how it made you feel. Saying “I love you” is one area that we can all improve in—whether it’s a common phrase in your family or somethings that’s not said very often. No kid can ever hear those word too frequently.
We tell our children that we love them in a lot of different ways. We tell them we love them when we spend time with them. We tell them we love them when we serve them. We tell them we love them when we give them a hug. We tell them we love them when we’re proud of them. We tell them we love them when we give them a gift.
How our children need to hear that we love them differs. Once child may feel that you love them when you read to them, while another child may feel close when you give them a small token that let’s them know you we’re thinking of them. Research has found that when we talk to our family in their love language it becomes even more powerful.
According to Gary Chapman there are 5 love languages. They are:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Physical touch
Don’t know what your child’s love language is, take the 5 Love Language Test.
Done right, today’s two activities can be modified to make sure that you acknowledge each of your child’s love language. These two activities are almost meant to go hand in hand because who doesn’t love warm cookies and feel good notes?
Family Love Notes
Who doesn’t love getting a love note? These love notes take it up a notch as they give your children specific reasons why you love them and are grateful for them. Children do better in specifics as it gives them a framework. If they understand that you are grateful for them because of A they are more likely to do A again because praise is a powerful motivator. Praise has the ability to transform our children and their negative behavior.
With our Love Notes, all you have to do is fill in the blanks. Remember to be specific as possible.
How would you modify this activity to meet each of your child’s needs? It’s simple actually.
- Service: Leave the notes with an act of service. I.E. make their bed or do one of their chores
- Words of affirmation: Read the the notes out loud to your child before giving them to them
- Quality time: Do the activity together with you
- Physical touch: Give them a hug after you give them the notes or have them sit in your lap as you read them
- Gifts: Add a small token with the notes.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Warm Chocolate Chip Cookies are almost the universal way to someones heart and these cookies will probably become your new favorite. Follow the recipe exactly…especially the baking directions. Trust us, you don’t want to over-bake.
- Service: Let your child know you made these cookies for them because they’d like them
- Word of affirmation: Tell them how good of a job they are doing helping you or tell them something you like before they get a cookie
- Quality time: Ask them to make these cookies with you
- Physical touch: Give them a hug after they help you make the cookies or before they get to eat them
- Gifts: Wrap up some spare cookies and give them to your child.
You’ll find that these two simple activities may be the easiest way to connect with your family.