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Why we shouldn’t reward bad behavior

Why we shouldn’t reward bad behavior

How is a girl that is rude, selfish, and has been in trouble with the law 51 times due to lewd behavior, stealing, disturbance, verbal threats, violence in the last year has now become the a spokesperson with talks of her own reality TV show? That’s exactly what is happening for Danielle Bregoli, of “Cash me ousside, how bow dah?” fame. This year she is on track to make 1 million dollars from endorsements and video view. What!?!? Seriously, this is a problem. Not only for the message it’s teaching our children, but, what society is saying we’re willing to accept.

1. We’re teaching our kids it’s ok

When we put this type of behavior on a pedestal we are teaching our children that its ok. It’s ok to be rude, flaunt authority, skip school, steal, yell, and throw a tantrum if we don’t get our way. And if they do it well enough, we will become famous.

The problem is that this type of behavior most of them time won’t bring them the fame or accolade most of the time. What ignoring their behavior it will get them in trouble with the law and set them on a path that they may not be able to come back from.

Often the reason children act out is that they are seeking to deal with emotions they don’t understand, wanting to be loved, or even trying to control their environment and feel safe.

2. It removes consequences

One of the most important things we can do as parents is to teach our children consequences. Consequences are a part of life and if we don’t teach them the world will teach them.

Some people say that she’s just a kid and that we really don’t need to give her consequences. But, if we saw this behavior in adults we wouldn’t think it was cute. Rather, we’d be asking them to be locked up.

Parents may worry that their children won’t like them if they give them consequences, but the opposite is true. Children who were never given consequences as a child tend to resent their parents when they become adults as they feel their parents failed them.

You can learn more about why consequences are so important by visiting our Correcting Behavior skill.

3. She won’t get the help she needs

The biggest problem I have with this, is that it’s obvious she is suffering from serious behavior, and quite possibly some mental issues, and she needs help and not exploitation of her problems. In fact, I look at her mother’s encouragement of her behavior as a form of child abuse and we need to do everything to stop child abuse in all its forms. To learn more about the child abuse, visit ChildWelfare.gov.

When children don’t get the help they need all of society suffers as we create a stigma around getting help and that’s just plain stupid. Children with problems grow up to be adults with problems. They often who are addicted to drugs and alcohol, end up in jail, becomes abusers, neglecting their children, or dying of a drug overdose. When we help children, we are investing in our future. Changing children’s behavior is always easier than trying to change adult behavior because each generation creates a new threshold of what is acceptable. Children that have been severely abused, tend to begin their abuse easier and abuse more as they believe their abuse was normal, so to create control over their children they have to be even more extreme with the generation after that being even worse.

If you suspect someone is being emotionally or physically abused, report your suspicions to the proper authorities.

We need to remember what we do, or don’t do, has long term consequences.